Sermon Discussion Guide
Sermon Title: Good Grief! Date: December 1, 2024: First Sunday of Advent: Hope
Scripture: Job 3:1-12
Understanding Grief:
- Pastor Matt commented that Job’s words, especially v.11, ‘Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?’ are hard. But can you blame him given that just 7 days earlier Job lost his wife and kids? Grief is a ‘natural’ response to loss. Do you agree or disagree? Explain
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- Point #1. You Can’t Have Shortcuts to Grief. Some things to consider from the message:
- There are lots of stories regarding grief in the Bible (see Job, Psalm 88, Ruth)
- God never chastises Job for his deep grief and his words expressed during his grief
- The book of Job records the less than helpful words of Job’s three friends in Job 4-31. Avoid ‘trite’ responses (like Job’s three friend’s advice) to a person who is grieving
Have you experienced grief (or presently experiencing grief)? Explain_______________________
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How does understanding Job and God’s response to Job help you in your grief? Explain: _______
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- In responding to a person who is grieving Pastor Matt quoted Taylor Swift, ‘Bandages don’t fix bullet holes.’ Why is this important to remember? _____________________________________
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- Pastor Matt explained that ‘grief is not a sin.’ Also, ‘It is not a sin to grieve.’ Do you agree or disagree? Explain _______________________________________________________________
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- Several examples of ‘good’ grieving in the Bible were noted:
- Personal grieving over our sin – ‘godly sorrow’: 2 Cor. 7:8-11
- David ‘laments’ over the deaths of Saul (enemy) and Jonathan (best friend): 2 Sam. 1:17
- Jesus cries over His friend Lazarus who has died: John 11:33-36
How does knowing grief is a common and personal emotion experienced by Jesus and others help you when dealing with grief (yours and others)? Explain: ____________________________
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- Point #2. Cruciform Grief. (Note: Cruciform means: ‘Having the shape of the cross’[1]). Pastor Matt explained Cruciform Grief – a Cross-shaped Grief – and its effects as follows:
- Through the cross (of Christ) grief brings us closer to heaven
- Christ is victor over pain and death
- We have Christ’s life and resurrection within us
- We are joined to Christ and have all His benefits
How could thinking of grief in this way help in your time of grieving? Explain _____________
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- Pastor Matt encouraged listeners to understand Cruciform Grief through meditating (thinking deeply) about the following verses. Read each verse. Summarize the verse in your own words. Write down how this helps you to come ‘closer to heaven…through the cross’ in our grief.
- Galatians 2:20: ___________________________________________________________
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- Philippians 2:9 (context 2:5-8): ______________________________________________
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- 2 Corinthians 3:1-5: _______________________________________________________
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- Pastor Matt summed up the mystery of Cruciform Grief in this way; When Christians suffer, they are united to Christ in His sufferings…And when they are ‘deep in that well’ (of suffering) they are in the deep well of Christ’s sufferings…And In in the utter darkness of that deep, dark, well the stars shine brightest.
Reflect on the words in point #8. How do they impact you? Explain: _______________________
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- Point #3. How to Grieve (Well). Applying the truths we have learned.
Pastor Matt gave four things to remember when grieving or helping someone who is grieving:
- Grieve in hope: Christ will meet us in our grief
- Grieve in community: Stay connected through friends, cell groups, griefshare groups
- Grief is NOT a process – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance[2] – it is a wound. And even though Jesus heals we still end up with a scar. Jesus knows something about scars – eternal scars that glorify God.
- Grieve victoriously!
Making it Personal:
Think about what you have reflected on and learned above as you answer these questions.
- What was the most important truth you learned? ______________________________________
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- How will knowing this truth set you free (and others) when experiencing grief? ______________
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For further reflection:
There are many excellent resources on grief. Pastor Matt referred several times to the book, ‘Humiliating Joy,’ written by his close friends Peter and Kristin Serger during the sermon. It is the story of Kristin’s and Peter’s journey with the Lord and each other through Kristin’s battle with cancer and her death. You can borrow a copy from Kari or Matt or order a copy from Amazon.ca.
Grace Connection:
In 2 Corinthians 12:16-33 Paul gives an account of his sufferings (see also 1 Corinthians 12:10). His passionate prayer to be released from ‘a thorn’ in his flesh, a messenger of Satan’ (his constant sufferings for proclaiming the gospel of God’s grace – see Acts 20:24 – or some other reoccurring painful issue) is recorded in 1 Corinthians 12:8. God’s answer? ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ (v.9). And like Paul, whenever we suffer and grieve, we can trust in God’s promise that His grace is sufficient to mee any challenge we face.
My prayer: ____________________________________________________________________________
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[1] Online dictionary
[2] Dr. Kübler-Ross 5 stages of grief used in most grief counseling